Where happiness comes from.

My friend, Charles, kayaking on Johnston Lake in Banff.

Happiness is an elusive quality that can only be found by not looking for it.  Although ironic, it is completely true.  It is never inside a bottle, of any kind, and such a lifestyle gleans just the opposite outcome.  It is not found through bodily pleasures, the acquisition of material goods, or stimulation of the senses.  Although these things can provide moments of joy, even ecstasy, they often lead the pursuer with a sense of emptiness.

How is it that wealth alone is not the root of happiness?  There are many poor people that are much more content than those with money to burn.  Prostitution involves frequent sexual acts by an individual for money, yet there are few prostitutes that are really happy. Power is another coveted construct that, in its own right, will not foster prolonged joy.  The simple fact is that having money, chemistry, sex, and/or power will not guarantee a happy life.

So then, what does?

I would propose that it is in the loving of others that true happiness comes about.  In this sense, giving is better than getting.  The building of friendships through time and devotion pays dividends well above what each individual may get out of the relationship.  You can't put a price on trust.  Going home to an empty mansion pales in comparison to going home to a hovel where you are loved by those surrounding you.

So the first tenant of happiness is in being with those you trust and love, and that love and trust you.  Sacrificing those relationships to acquire sex (often misconstrued for love), money, power, or chemical happiness (drugs and alcohol) leads to ruin and utter sadness.  Any joy experienced is ephemeral at best.

A second tenant for finding happiness is related to how you spend your time.  The fact is that we need to sleep, eat, and have shelter; life is not possible if those basic needs are not in place.  This is true not only for ourselves but for those we are responsible for.  This means we have to work.  The nature of that work will have an enormous impact on your happiness.

Wherever you find employment, love those around you.  Make them like they are part of your family.  Kindness, helpfulness, support, and a good work ethic will greatly improve your work environment and the environment of those around you.  I also believe that doing something you love goes a long way toward contentment and happiness.  This may mean spending time and energy on getting an education.  Consider that as an investment toward happiness.  Do what you love, and love what you do.

Lastly, make an effort to be together with those you love.  Weekends, evenings, holidays, and even fleeting moments will charge up the happiness batteries in your life.  Joy is temporary while happiness is an enduring quality.  You can have joy without happiness and be happy without joy.  Searching for joy in its own right often leads to depression.  Sharing joy with others is an entirely different prospect.  In the end, it is all about relationships and making a positive difference in the lives of others.  Do this and you will find happiness, without even looking for it.

Thanks for reading.

Eric Svendsen     www.ericspix.com