Hard decisions - when you head and heart don't agree - What to do when you pet is ill.

Murphy camping, biking, kayaking, and in the pet hospital today.

I can normally separate what my brain wants from what my heart wants.  Logic, reason, and experience against feelings, desire, and hope.  The impassioned voice and the passionate voice.  Most of us will have these notions occurring simultaneously, a flood of sentiments that may seem overwhelming.  The risk and intensity are low when the situation is of little consequence, but enormous when it comes down to life-altering decisions.  

Most of the time, the outcome will have little impact on our lives.  "Should I buy the roast or the chicken?"  This will not impact your life in a big way.  Either decision would be acceptable.  On the other hand, "Should my dog have surgery or should I put him down?" is on another level entirely.  Cost, pain, rehab, quality of life, time, future risk, and more all become part of the equation.  And try as hard as you like, keeping them separate and coming up with a balanced solution becomes an Olympic challenge.

Case in point, my dog Murphy.  A happy, life-loving, fun, eight year old Dachshund one moment, that suddenly became a paraplegic, diagnosed with IVDD, (in vertebral disk disease).  He had a ruptured disk on his thoraco-lumbar joint, and the pressure on the spinal cord was causing significant paralysis.  And it's not like surgery would put the world right; there would likely be deficits, possibly even total rear-end loss of feeling or motion, including incontinence.

There it was, presented to us clearly, and now we had to make a decision.  Logically, the cost, the risks, the time - put him down.  On top of all this, we were headed out the next day on a cruise; our dog sitter would be faced with a difficult task. Then there was what the heart said.  He was family, we loved him dearly, he had many years left, and the tears that flooded from our eyes at the thought of putting him down were torrential.  

Logic - put him down.  Emotion - save him at all costs.  And then came the moment of decision.

And so there we were, sitting in the Comfort Room, about to have our dog brought to us, having decided that he would have to be put down.  And then they brought him in.  He was happy to see us, joyful, full of love, and we lost all composure.  So much for logic and reason.  

Now, at this point, I have to point out that sometimes, you don't just have a choice.  No money, put the dog down.  No time, put the dog down.  Stressed to the point that bringing home a pet with significant needs would break you.  Put the dog down.  But we had money, enough anyway.  We had time; we're both retired.  Our lives are without significant stress.  We can do this.  It will be hard.  But it can be done.

For me, it was about the fact that we could do it, and he deserved it.  He trusted us to do the right thing.  He could be happy.  His love would be reciprocated, regardless of what his final condition looked like.  Owning a pet is a responsibility, especially with a modestly sentient animal that becomes part of your family.  It's part of the contract when you get an animal like that.  "I promise to look after you to the best of my ability and to love you as best as I can.  It won't be perfect, but we will love each other."

At this moment, Murphy is in recovery.  We are on our way to our cruise.  The vet tells us the surgery went well and he has shown some improvement in limb function.  Time will tell.  We will see him in three weeks.  I'll let you know.

Thanks for reading.  If you are a person of faith, we would appreciate prayer for Murphy.

Eric Svendsen.