Have I made a difference?

My special-needs program at Garibladi, the ILP - ran from 1991 to 2012.  This was 2007.

I remember the day I retired from teaching.  It was 2018, and the big question on my mind was, "Had I made a difference?"  It has been 8 years since then, and I think I finally have an answer.

Each of us makes an impact on those around us.  It is our actions, or lack of them, that impact others in our lives.  Although the job itself has a bearing, the difference that is made comes from the relationships you form with others and the example that you set.

I used to think in a grandiose way - what important things have I done, what legacies have I left, that will make a difference tomorrow on the planet?  My name will never be written in the history books.  Others will not tell stories of my victories, accomplishments, or legacies.  I am but a drop of water in a bucket, and when the bucket is empty, the memory of my existence will be gone just as the water.

But the truth is far greater than any of that.  I have made the lives of people around me better.  I cared for them, made them laugh, and played a role in who they were and what would become.  While one could argue that anyone could do that, the fact is that it was me, and I was not just a void taking up space.  Rather, I was a small part in the fabric of life that made up who each person was.  The difference I have made was not enormous, but it was important; it was felt.  

The drop of water in the bucket was poured out onto a plant that produced a flower, which produced a thousand seeds.  Those seeds filled a garden and were enjoyed by many, themselves producing seeds that would carry on for generations.  Although I am but a drop of water in a bucket, I have played an important part in the moment and in the future.  It can't be measured.  You can't look into the future and say, "That was because of me."  But I was a part of all that was to come.

I have done the best that I could for who I am.  Although I have regrets, I have made decisions based upon what was known and what was needed at the time.  You can't predict the future or the consequences of a single action, but you can do your best in a given situation and show those around you that you care.  In doing this, I set an example, I make a difference, and maybe the drop of water of which I am made has an important legacy after all.

Thanks for reading.

Eric Svendsen