#8 - Christmas Memories - The Twelve Photos of Christmas Past

 Not all Christmases are Merry.

We think of Christmas as a time of joy, family, and friends.  Good food, lots of fun events, familiar seasonal songs in the air, and the hope of what lies ahead.  Most of us look forward to Christmas and can reflect on Christmas Pasts with fondness.  For me, that is true for most of them, but in 1980, it was very different.

As a child, I wasn't really aware of my mom's addiction to alcohol.  Incidents that occurred were kept away from my siblings and I, it wasn't until I was in my teens that the scope of the problem became apparent.  I recall numerous incidents throughout my adolescence, but only one that occurred during Christmas.  It was 1980, Christmas Eve.

It was very cold outside, a fairly typical day for central Alberta at Christmas.  We had a lot of snow, and the fields had somewhere between 18 - 24 inches upon them.  I don't recall what initiated the crisis, but my mom decided that she was going to walk down to the local lake to die.  She left the house, in a skimpy nighty, and proceeded across the field behind us towards the lake.  She didn't get very far.

Between the high alcohol content of her blood stream, her lack of warm winter apparel, the deep snow and cold, she collapsed. I couldn't move her, so I ran to get help.  Our family doctor lived near us and, being it was Christmas Eve, he was home.  I explained the situation and he reacted immediately.

My mom was transported to the nearest hospital some 20 km away where they revived her and administered to her needs.  This incident was just one of many, but the fact it all happened on Christmas Eve was especially poignant.  In a way, it destroyed Christmas, but it also facilitated what was to be a new chapter in my parents' lives.  It also gave us all an opportunity to talk openly about the elephant in the room.  

My mom stopped drinking - cold turkey - after 18 years of consuming 2 liters a day - and the process of healing within my family began.  I can't say that it was easy, and there were deep scars that still affect me to this day.  However, my mom started her new life and lived long enough to see the birth of three of her grandchildren.  She eventually died, 17 years later, of pancreatic cancer, likely caused by her heavy drinking.  And she never took another drink after that Christmas long ago.

Christmas comes and goes now for me and my immediate family, each season an opportunity to spend time with the people I care for the most.  Difficulties are bound to happen, but I know that each challenge will be met with new opportunities. I have learned to celebrate life, deal with problems, and let the future unfold as it is going to.  Grace exists in those hard moments, even if it is not immediately apparent.

Thanks for reading. 

Eric Svendsen     www.ericspix.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I found a black widow spider in a plant pot today

Image
The spider I found is a western black widow spider, one of three species of black widow that occur in North America.  The fact that this one has another red patch on the back of its abdomen above the spinnerettes tells us that it is an immature individual. The one thing that people know about black widow spiders is that they are extremely poisonous.  Their venom is something like 15x more toxic than that of a rattlesnake.  The saving grace is that there is very little venom injected from a black widow bite than what a rattlesnake can deliver.   The good news is that black widow bites seldom lead to death.  You are more likely to suffer nausea, muscle pain, and swelling around the bite.  Symptoms usually last only 12 hours or so.  Death may be a result in people with compromised immune systems or in the very young or the elderly.   In 2018, it was reported that there were 1015 cases of people bitten by black widows.  Of those, there ...
Read more

The passing of a generation

Image
Kathryn's mom and dad with our children, Josh and Leanne. A generation, for North America, tends to be between 20 and 30 years.  During that time a couple will give birth and raise children to see them repeat the pattern as they themselves have done.  Each generation has its own set of standards, values, and ideals based upon their experiences and culture, and some of that is passed down to their offspring.  What changes are the life experiences of the following generation and the new customs and ideals that are blended together as a couple becomes a family. Kathryn's mom passed away a few days ago, she was predeceased by her husband several years ago.  Both of them were the grandparents of my children, the mother and father of my wife, Kathryn.  It was my pleasure to know them and to love them as my own, for to me they were Mom and Dad.  And they were there to welcome my children into the world just as my children were with them in spirit when they left it...
Read more

Hang in there, things will get better.

Image
The Svendsen Family - Eric, Samuel, Leanne, Joshua (top row), Nora, Kathryn, Chanelle, Emma If I could go back, in my mind, to a day in my life when I was really down, it would be nice to be able to see into the future.  If could see things as they are today, with the many blessings that have been given to me, it would give me hope knowing that things wouldn't always be so discouraging.   The message here is we do not know what the future holds.  When things are bad, it is hard to raise your head out of the mire to see beyond the darkness.  There are no guarantees, of course, that things will be better, but I think it is true that fortunes ebb and flow as tides do.  The trick is to see beyond the low points and not be too haughty during the high ones.  I know that, at this moment, things are very good.  What the future holds is unknown, but low and high points are likely in the forecast.   This is why taking satisfaction from the moment ...
Read more