What is the value of a friend?

I have written on this subject before, but it is pressing on my mind and I have to express it to anyone who will hear me. Friends are important. I am not talking about acquaintances, people you meet socially, or even those you might have over to the house for an evening together. I am talking about the kind of deep friendship that comes with a commitment for life.

Every relationship will face trials. They could be in the form of a disagreement, competition over something, or a wrong that was carried out, one against the other. Think hard about the people in your life where such matters are trivial compared to the value of their friendship. This is where forgiveness comes in. In your heart, you can say, "In spite of the fact that this event has happened, there is nothing that will make me turn away from you."

There is another expression for this concept, one that does a far better job at explaining the nature and depth of the relationship. Unconditional love. This implies that no matter where you are, what you have done, or how your choices have affected me, I will always love you. Not sexually; the Greeks called this Eros. It certainly has its place in relationships, but that is not the one I am referring to. The Greeks used the work agape to express this concept. It refers to an unwillingness to abandon, that it takes precedence above all other things. This is the kind of friendship I am talking about (refer to this site for more information on the four kinds of love according to the Greeks.)

Although I am a devout Christian, I do not preach to others through this medium, and I rarely quote from the bible. There is a passage that I particularly like though which I think sums things up beautifully. The New Living Translations puts it superbly. John 15:13 - "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." This is the ultimate example of agape love. I think it expresses the depth of love one has for his or her partner, for their child, and for those whose friendship you covet most. I do not go a day without thinking about those I truly love, that I love with agape love.

So, to answer the question posed in the title of my blog, "What is the value of the friend?" The answer, simply put is this, "Everything I have and everything I am." What more can be given?

Thanks for reading.     Ericspix     Eric Svendsen

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