It's OK to be silly.

My friend, Charles, doing what he does best.
Think about the people you like to hang out with.  Are they serious sorts that have a deep philosophy in life or are they somewhat lite-hearted and even occasionally ostentatious?  Chances are that they are somewhat on the silly side and you feel good when around them.  That association is not a random occurrence; it turns out that silliness is an important part of friendship.

People who know me well will tell you that I like to be silly.  I love puns and finding obscure interactions that pique interest.  Irony has its place too, although I find that the distance between irony and skepticism is short if not kept under leash.  I enjoy well-meant banter, with a bit of a cutting edge, but have to keep a reign on my tongue so as not to inflict injury.  You will not find me behaving this among people I don't know well or when in a professional situation.  First of all, it is prudent, and secondly, I am cautious about opening myself up to others.

In order for me to remove the armor that prevents my silly-self from being exposed, I have to trust people.  Trust is something that is earned; to some extent it has to be proven.  There is not a Likert test or anything so mundane, rather trust is built over time and through interaction.  It takes longer with some, with others it is instantaneous.  It is that feeling you get when you are with someone, that feeling of being safe and that being yourself is OK.

When I am open with others and exhibiting my silly nature without modification, I find that others enjoy being around me too.  I benefit from the relationship because I can be me in all its silliness with a touch of ridiculous thrown in, and others benefit because they enjoy the interaction.  True friendship exists when you can trust others and be yourself.  It is hard to be true friends with someone when you are on guard all the time around them.

Unfortunately, I have been in the situation where someone has had my trust, where I could be silly and not feel threatened, and the trust was destroyed.  Suddenly, what was once held and valuable becomes lost.  It is like a once glowing ember that can light others into revelry is drowned into a cool lump of charcoal.  You can get the flame going again, but it won't be anytime soon and it will take a lot of work.

Without silliness relationships would be dry.  Being silly allows the development of deep bonds, but trust is an essential ingredient of that.  The people you enjoy being around are those that you can trust and be silly around.  Funny how it goes both ways.

Thanks for reading.   www.ericspix.com   Eric Svendsen

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hang in there, things will get better.

Image
The Svendsen Family - Eric, Samuel, Leanne, Joshua (top row), Nora, Kathryn, Chanelle, Emma If I could go back, in my mind, to a day in my life when I was really down, it would be nice to be able to see into the future.  If could see things as they are today, with the many blessings that have been given to me, it would give me hope knowing that things wouldn't always be so discouraging.   The message here is we do not know what the future holds.  When things are bad, it is hard to raise your head out of the mire to see beyond the darkness.  There are no guarantees, of course, that things will be better, but I think it is true that fortunes ebb and flow as tides do.  The trick is to see beyond the low points and not be too haughty during the high ones.  I know that, at this moment, things are very good.  What the future holds is unknown, but low and high points are likely in the forecast.   This is why taking satisfaction from the moment is so important.  Instead of looking forward
Read more

Working out life's problems.

Image
Kathryn and Eric - together for 35 years. Whoever said life is easy hasn't been alive for very long.  Yes, although there may be times when everything sails along very nicely, the truth is that hardship is just around the corner, in both directions. The essence of the problem is that we are imperfect beings and we live in an imperfect world.  Bad things happen, both to us and those we care about.  We make decisions and take actions that others may oppose or be hurt by.  Even when, after much thought and research, we do what we think is best or right, our opinions or behaviours are not approved by those we love.  People get hurt, and sometimes the hurt leads to serious repercussions.   I can say that Kathryn and I are happily married.  But I can also say that our relationship has gone through difficult moments.  A great deal of the challenges we have faced have come about because of differences in opinion, differences in problem management, and difficulties in effective communicatio
Read more

Dastardly Dachshund Destroys Fabrics.

Image
Murphy's blanket (left) and Sterling's pant leg hem (right) - It took only a moment. We have had 5 dachshunds now, Murphy being the latest itineration, and they have quite a few characteristics in common.  This blog is about one of them - they love to chew things, and can completely destuff and destroy a dog toy in moments.  Of course, that behaviour isn't just restricted to toys.  Blankets, quilts, articles of clothing, really any kind of fabric - these dogs love to have their way with them.  And that usually means making holes. We restrict the types of fabric that Murphy tears apart into his dog blanket and his toys.  However, he can turn his destructive influence to other chewy temptations on occasion.  We usually catch him before any damage is done, but if he is left unattended and has an opportunity, he can render a garment unusable quickly.  This fact was thoroughly established this New Year's Eve. We had friends over to celebrate the turning over of the calendar.
Read more